For anybody with fertility issues, getting involved in a new relationship can be a little awkward when the subject turns to the future. I had to let Paul know my experience with Lily very early on into our relationship in case he decided to.. let's just say - leg it.
I have two older half brothers, and one younger half brother, but grew up as an only child. The age gaps between myself and my siblings range from 14 years to 9 years, so I never knew what it was like to "grow" up with them. I wanted different for Lily.
Paul and I decided fairly quickly that we wanted to have a child. Deep down, I didn't think that I'd be able to conceive another child and carry it to full term. I didn't think I'd conceive, so I didn't even think about what could happen during labour!
First cycle. WOAH NELLY!
It turns out that in a lot of cases of Endometriosis, pregnancy can "blow out the cobwebs" as such. Well thanks for the warning docs!
The pregnancy went well, apart from the SPD returning, and passing out in Morrisons.
This birth was NOT going to be like the first. I kept on telling myself that it just could not happen. No way. Never. I wasn't going to let it happen. It was going to be natural, I would have no pain relief, and nobody was going to die.
3 days 'till my due date, I thought I'd get off my large bottom and have a long walk. It was painful just moving from one side of the room to the other, but as I knew very well, movement would bring the baby's head into position ready for birth.
When I got back I was knackered. I was feeling twinges in my tummy, but that could've been a number of things - wind, constipation, squished bowels.
Paul would've been back from work any minute, so I set Lily up with a couple of toys, and had a nap on the sofa for an hour. I woke up to feel more twinges, a bit more painful. We had dinner, and went to bed.
It was 3am. I couldn't get to sleep. Paul was snoring. I was having regular pains. Everytime I had a pain I looked at my phone. They were every 10 minutes. Suspicious.
I tried waking Paul up, I told him that I thought I was in labour. He replied with, "Well tell me when you need to go in." Charming.
They started coming every 8 minutes and were picking up in pain. I elbowed Paul in the ribs and told him we had to phone the hospital and go in.
I hobbled into the car, and we made the half an hour journey to the John Radcliffe Hospital.
My heart sank as I walked up the corridor I had walked up before. My blood ran cold as we walked past my previous room.
Things were starting to really hurt, but the contractions were getting further apart, and I was only 2 and a half cms dilated, so not officially in established labour. I took an instant dislike to the midwife that was on duty at the time. She seemed very cold.
Thankfully a new midwife came on duty, followed by a student midwife and a med student.
Paul fell asleep in a chair.
The student midwife was a quiet, but smiley lady. She went through my birth plan with me, and understood all my reasons why I wanted it to be completely natural. She gave me a heated wheat bag to put on my back, as that was where most of my pain was. It smelt awful like Sugarpuffs, and I can't stand Sugarpuffs. I was also given a warm bowl of water to put my feet in as I rocked back and fourth in my rocking chair.
She asked me if I would like to try some aromatherapy to help me through labour. Why not?! I thought.
I was given dots of frankincense to put on my wrists. This is was supposed to be calming and to help me focus. It smelt amazing, and helped the anxious nausea I was experiencing.
5am - The contractions were really coming thick and fast. I breathed, and breathed, and breathed some more. Holy cow they were horrible. Some random midwife came in and asked me if I would like some drugs. NO! I said. She put the gas and air pipe on the bed "Just in case."
Paul woke up. Probably not by choice. I was moaning like a trooper.
8:15am - Contractions were back to back, lasting 20 seconds each. I knew I was on the final stretch. The pain was becoming unbearable! I already knew I had done so well to get this far without pain relief, but I was close to reaching for that gas and air.
I was on the bed squatting up and down over the head of the bed roaring in pain, begging to be checked as I knew I nearing the time I had never experienced before.
I turned onto my back, and I had to push. All of a sudden everything went quiet. I felt a surge of adrenaline rocket through my veins and I knew exactly what I had to do. The contractions became painless, and I went into a trance, a phenomenon that my midwife had only seen twice before.
I felt pressure, like a bowling ball being stuck somewhere it should never be stuck! I pushed for the first time. The pressure intensified. I pushed for the second time and I felt a burning sensation. The head was born! The med student giggled as the baby's head was wriggling around.
One last push, and tada! The baby was born. It was placed on my chest where I could rub it with towels, and I took a look at the face. It opened it's eyes and it looked at me. I was suddenly engulfed with love and joy.
It was a girl!
I had requested that the umbilical cord was to be left to stop pulsating before cutting, as it let the blood in it return into the baby - the natural way. When it was time to cut it, Paul refused. So I did it!
I also delivered the placenta in a drug free way.
Leah was extremely healthy, she had apgar scores of 10/10/10 - PERFECTION. She started breast feeding within an hour, and very much enjoyed her food.
Thankfully being so small only left me with a tiny graze down below, so the repairs that had to be done with Lily had gone untouched. Phew!
After an hour of cuddles, I got up, had a shower, and we were ready to settle down into a ward.
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I did it naturally, I did it my way, and I've never been so proud of myself.
.. Motherhood: Part 3 - coming soon.
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